What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
