idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
