i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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