i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
