When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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