I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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