Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
