Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
