i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
