I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
