people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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