I CAN MOONWALK!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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