Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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