we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
