we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
