Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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