A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
