Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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