No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
