she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
