Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
