Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
