He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
