He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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