I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
