Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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