Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
