hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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