is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
