this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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