whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
