O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
