In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
