How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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