i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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