Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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