just tell him i said nine months
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
