This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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