I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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