You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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