as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
