I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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