just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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