I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
