turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
