Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
