first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
