Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
