Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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