I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
