He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
