Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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