If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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