Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
