I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
